Is He My Boyfriend?

It seems like a simple enough question, right? 

But how do you know for sure if the guy you’re dating is your boyfriend?

You might (mistakenly) assume he’s your boyfriend if:

  • He spends lots of time with you.
  • He calls and texts consistently.
  • He sleeps with you.
  • He’s introduced you to his friends and family.
  • He takes you on trips.
  • He talks about doing things together in the future.

If you’re wondering, “Is he my boyfriend?”, the answer could be yes…

But it also might be NO!

Let me tell you about three women I know…

Amanda was dating a man for three months, and they were together 3-4 nights a week. They’d met each other’s close friends and had traveled to Europe together.

I asked Amanda if they were exclusive. She assumed they were, but when I pressed her, she couldn’t say for sure. I told her to ask him. It took her a few weeks to get up the nerve, but when she did she learned he was dating (and sleeping with) other women. It soon became clear that he had no intention of committing to her. So heartbroken, she moved on (and met her amazing boyfriend two months later).

Julie met a great guy online and they’d been dating for several weeks. He bought her gifts, surprised her with flowers and told her how amazing she was.

But one day Julie’s friend saw his profile on, and she let Julie know. Julie asked her friend to email him to see if he was really online. He responded right away. Ouch. Julie had assumed they were exclusive, but he was still actively dating.

A few weeks ago, I asked Maria if the man she’d been dating (and sleeping with) for over three months was officially her boyfriend. She assumed he was, but they had never discussed it.

One of my biggest dating rules is NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS because they’re often wrong.

There’s something REALLY important you need to know.

Some men will date you, spend time with you, text you, call you, travel with you, and sleep with you, with no intention of ever committing to you.

Why would a man do that?

Because he enjoys your company (and the sex), that’s why. And because he’s a guy. And some guys are just like that.

Don’t get me wrong – there are lots of terrific commitment-minded men out there. But at some point, you may run into a man who’ll date you even though he’s just not that into you.

Yes, that’s right. He’ll date you while he’s looking for someone else – someone he wants to commit to. That’s just how some men operate. *Sigh*

Please don’t EVER let that happen to you!  Don’t invest your time, energy, heart, and body in someone who doesn’t get how truly amazing you are. You deserve better.

So how will you know when he’s your boyfriend?  

There’s only one way.  He has to ASK you to be exclusive and say something like “I want us to only date each other. Will you date me exclusively?”

It’s as simple as that.

If he hasn’t asked, he’s not your boyfriend!

Here’s to being an empowered dater, asking important questions, and to finding the love of your life really soon!