Virtual Dates – 10 Helpful Tips for Video Date Success

While nothing can replace an in-person date, during the pandemic, virtual video dates became very popular. Chatting with someone new from the warmth and comfort of your own home does have its advantages. And virtual dates work especially well when dating someone who lives far away. And these days, most people are comfortable using Zoom or FaceTime. So I thought I’d share some tips to help you have successful virtual dates in case you decide to go that route.

1. Set your intentions for your video date: When you’re on a video date, your goal should NOT be to feel chemistry because that’s too hard to gauge on a call. Instead, simply see if you enjoy spending time with the other person. If you do, then you should meet in person to get to know him or her better, and gauge chemistry then.

2. Think big and hold still on your video date: It’s tempting to use your smartphone for a video date, but I strongly suggest using a computer or tablet instead. I mean, who wants to be three inches tall on a date, lol? Make sure your computer or tablet (or phone, if you must) is stationary so you’re not wobbling around on-screen. It’ll feel more like a date when the screen is large and still.

3. Lighting for your video date: Lighting is super important when you’re on a virtual date. Make sure you’ve got sufficient front-lighting (not backlighting which will make you look like a silhouette). If you can’t sit facing a window or a lamp, I suggest a ring light like this.  

4. Choose the setting for your video date: So many of us have spent the last two years on video calls for work. A video date should look and feel very different from a work meeting. So don’t sit at your desk and show yourself from the chest up. Instead, I suggest you put your laptop or tablet on your coffee table and sit casually on your couch showing yourself from the legs or waist up. Get comfortable! And please make sure there are no unmade beds, dirty kitchens, or bathrooms in the background. Keep things classy, clean, and casual.

5. Up your energy on your video date: Your energy level on camera matters! It’s important to smile more than usual and to use your hands and body when you’re speaking. Big (but not awkward) hand movements can really up the energy on a video date. Trust me, this is great advice!

6. Dress for your video date: Treat a virtual date like any other date, and look your best. Wear something nice. Ladies, do your hair and makeup and wear color. Men, no wrinkled tee shirts! Make the extra effort to look awesome!

7. Keep your video date positive and fun: Just like when you’re on a regular date, stick to positive topics. Don’t spend lots of time discussing the pandemic or politics. Don’t ask about your date’s past relationships or mention your ex. Don’t talk about all of the dates you’ve been on or how hard dating is. And don’t talk too long about work. Instead, share what makes you happy and what you’re most passionate about. Maybe even play a game, enjoy a glass of wine or cook dinner together. Be creative!

8. Use affirmations on your video date: If there’s something you appreciate about your date, why keep it to yourself?. Let them know! It feels really good to be seen and appreciated! Affirmations are a great way to create connections on a date. And they’re kind!

9. End your video date right: Ladies, if you had a good time, make sure your date knows you had fun! Men, if you’d like to see her again, ask her out on an in-person date and suggest a date, time, and place. Make it happen!

10. Always be kind: If you decide you don’t want to get together again, send a quick note the next day thanking your date for spending time with you. Pay them a genuine compliment or two, and then let them know you’ve thought about it and have decided the two of you are not a fit. Closure is always kinder than ghosting.

I hope these video dating tips are super helpful! Please stay safe. And most of all, have FUN!